Metrophobic...or xenophobic?

I wish that I wasn't unnverved by this...but I was. I really, really was.

Yesterday, on my way to work, I made the necessary metro transfer and sat down next to a furry, bearded man who was reading. Typically, I assume that's a safe bet--he won't bother me, won't talk to me and I'll just sit there and play with my cell phone.

However, upon closer examination (and an inability to ignore what was going on), I found that he was reading the Quran, singing to himself and shaking back and forth, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

I then noticed that people were slowly moving away and leaving the car we were sitting in.

And I got nervous. I'm ashamed to say so, but I got kind of scared and considered moving myself.

I didn't. And I guess I'm happy that I refused to give in to the surely unnecessary fear. But still. It's been over 24 hours and I'm still thinking about it.

Have I been corrupted by the mainstream media? The Bush administration? Am I a post-9/11 posterchild?

I don't know what to think.

The lights on my tree, I wish you could see

It takes patience and fear and despair...to change.

Priorities change.
Lives change.
Plans change.
As I was writing on Friday, everything changed.
His dad had a stroke and is in a coma.
Maintenant, rien n'est sûr. Il n'y a rien de certain.
I'm trying to change my flight but it's so complicated and I don't know what to do.
The city seems cruel. The holidays seem cruel. The lights and wreaths and trees are cruel.
Dramatic, but who cares.
And I'm far away. And I feel alone.

You know it's cold when...

Re: Post title
I wear my coat inside.
It's one of my pet peeves in life. Seriously. I hatez it.

Any way, I'm passing a relaxing Friday evening in a cafe, alone, and yet I'm still happy. (The mec is visiting his pops.) This is city life. This is tranquility.
For now.

I have 5 full days left in Paris, have no idea when I'll be back, and am feeling appropriately unfortunate. I am so lucky and blessed to have passed so much time here. And, I feel it's a testament to my dedication to Francophilia (or is it a knock to my cerebral intelligence? haha) that I'm currently having issues typing this in English while thinking in and surrounded by French.

I know it's silly but I'm also proud of having been pretty thrifty and smart about my money the last 6 weeks. And to celebrate this, for Christmas, I'm doing 2 really "extravagant" things for Mourad that he's gonna hate, haha. (I'm justifying it by the fact that I have no idea when I'll be back and these are things I've wanted to do for a long time.)

Chose disposieuse numero 1: Saturday night
Dinner for 2 at La Duree on the Champs.

Chose disposieuse numero 2: Tuesday night
Dinner cruise on the Seine (I know, so cheesyyyyy).

I'm excited--about the next few days--but it's bittersweet.

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone at home, too. And my treadmill. Oh dear. That'll be quite the reunion...having gone from running 40+ miles a week to like 5. And eating delicious things.

OH WELL, C'EST LA VIE, MIRIGHT?

P.S. Happy holidays. : ) Photo from here.

See below for clever quote

De Maupassant's candour would cause her dismay,
The Brontes are grander but not very gay,
Her taste is much blander, I'm sorry to say,
But is Hans Christian Andersen ever risque?
--Sondheim

I am still floored by his lyrics.

P.S. Running is good for the soul. And the heart. But, for today, really, the soul.

This city

I can't get enough.
I'm not ready to leave.

Happiness is...

O.M.G.

Hearts::Friday::Hearts

Forever!

P.S. Yum.

Except...salmon overload!

Eee!

Mais...c'est bon pour le coeur.

Setting: Monday night, the stairwell going up to my apt.

I'm walking up the 7 flights and catch up to the man who lives next door...

Him: (huffing) Good evening.
Me: (passing him) Good evening.
Him: (referring to climbing 7 flights) It's rough, eh?
Me: (awkward laugh) Yeah. Not easy.

And then, he lifts up his lit cigarette (which I had not previously seen) and says, with a beaming, sincere smile:

Him: Yeah, but it's good for the heart.

Oh. France.

I sold your soul to the devil.

P.S. The Miss.tic exhibition that I went to two weekends ago was amazing. And free (!). And had just enough on display for me to take in without being overwhelmed.

To provide an honorarium to anyone with the code: A-N-G-E-L

World AIDS Day 2008.

"But still. Still. Bless me anyway.
I want more life. I can't help myself. I do.
I've lived through such terrible times, and there are people who live through much, much worse, but...You see them living anyway.
When they're more spirit than body, more sores than skin, when they're burned and in agony, when flies lay eggs in the corners of the eyes of their children, they live. Death usually has to take life away. I don't know if that's just the animal. I don't know if it's not braver to die. But I recognize the habit. The addiction to being alive. We live past hope. If I can find hope anywhere, that's it, that's the best I can do. It's so much not enough, so inadequate, but...Bless me anyway. I want more life."

--Prior in Tony Kushner's Angels in America


Here is a good post about World AIDS Day as well.